


There are hidden blessings in every struggle

by rosaaa



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mpreg, One Shot, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2019-08-02 03:59:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16297742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosaaa/pseuds/rosaaa
Summary: But he knew that they didn’t need those vows, from the beginning they were already bound to stay together. But forever, wasn’t included.”I love you, you know that right?” Baekhyun's voice cracked a little.”I love you too, Baek.” Chanyeol smiled at him. ”Smile for me, please.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language so I'm sorry for the mistakes on the story ^^
> 
> Enjooy ~~

* * *

  _”I could only be grateful when I realized that I would rather have known you for a moment than never at all. I would rather endure this inexplicable pain of outliving you than to never have seen your face, spoken your name. I would rather be yours, and you be mine, regardless. Regardless of the sorrow, the sleepless nights, and the years I will walk this earth, carrying you in my heart.”_

* * *

 

 

He was sitting on the couch in the living room. It was already Autumn, so it was pouring outside. Not that he minded, he liked the rain. He liked to listen to the rhythm of the raindrops against the windows. The windows in the living room were sizable, they reached from the floor until the line of the ceiling. The windows always brought light in the room, on the days from the sun and in the night from the city lights that shone in different colors coloring the room beautifully.

 

In front of him, there was a large coffee table with a few decorations and a vase full of sunflowers. The sunflowers had a beautiful yellow and a faint red color in them. He founded a little funny that even though it was pouring outside, the sunflowers were still standing tall and tried to find the light. They still chose to shine even though it was dark outside.

 

It was afternoon, which meant coffee time for him. He was going to enjoy the peace and the quiet time he gets for the next thirty minutes or so because this has become his everyday life.

 

He stopped working a few years back, he was wealthy enough to stay home and he also had good a reason for it. He came from a rich family, so money was never a problem for him, but he didn’t let that get to him. He never wanted to depend on his family’s money, so he started working in a small company when he was fifteen years old to save money on his own. Later, he became the CEO at one of the most well-known companies in South Korea at the age of twenty-two. Now, at the age of twenty-six, he doesn't regret his choice even a bit.

 

His gaze slowly drifts to the fireplace in front of him. The fireplace was made of black bricks that had a little checkerboard pattern in them and in the top of the fireplace there was a shelf, made of dark brown wood. 

 

On the shelf, there was a line of pictures, memories from different parts of his life. In the first picture, you can see two guys smiling and the other had his arm over the other one's shoulder. 

 

It was a picture of him and his friend in a nightclub four years ago. It was funny to think how much can happen in those four years.

 

They were holding drinks in their hands, but he can’t remember what he was drinking that night, not that he was drunk, it just wasn’t important. His friend dragged him out on that evening, but he was so glad that he did. It turned out to be one of the nights that he never wants to forget. And he never will.

 

It was the night he met _him._

 

His lips formed a small smile while looking at the picture. He remembers that night like yesterday.

 

He was startled from his own world when he started to hear noises from the sleeping monitor on the kitchen counter on his right. 

 

An even bigger smile started to form to his lips when he heard those sweet sleepy sounds coming from the monitor.

 

”Guess who’s awake.”

 

————————————

 

Baekhyun and Luhan were on their way to the nightclub. They finally finished their exams so it was their first free night in months. They were in their twenties and they were close to their graduation from the university. If the exams went well. 

 

The street was getting busy because almost everyone from their college was heading to the nightclub to celebrate the ending of the exams. 

 

It was already dark and the street lights were on. There were neon lights dancing in different colors everywhere. Baekhyun founded beautiful. He could smell the humidity in the air, it’s definitely going to rain later. That made him realize, that he didn’t bring any jacket with him. 

 

He was wearing a black, long-sleeved shirt that had a large v-neck, it showed his collarbone's that could be seen clearly. He matched the shirt with blue jeans that were slightly ripped and with a pair of black and white Vans shoes. He liked to dress casually, even when going to the club. He applied a light layer of makeup to his face at home, not wanting to stand out too much and his black hair was styled to show a little of his forehead. 

 

His friend, Luhan, also liked to dress casually. He was wearing a black t-shirt with a blue pattern in it right in the middle, black skinny jeans and wrapped around his hips were long-sleeved square pattern shirt with white, red and black colors on it. Shoes he chose to wear were white Converses. He also applied a light makeup to his face but highlighting more his eyes. His blond hair was naturally curly, so for him, it was hard to even try and style it. 

 

Baekhyun was admiring the city lights and listening to the low traffic next to them. He wasn’t listening to Luhan at all. 

 

“What? Did you say something?” Luhan turned to look at him. “You’re not listening to me, aren’t you? You’re always on your own world.”

 

It’s true. Sometimes in the class or anywhere else, Baekhyun drifts to his own world thinking whatever crosses his mind at the moment.

 

Baekhyun smiled. “I’m sorry! So, what were you saying?” 

 

Luhan looked at Baekhyun and started smiling too. He has a little weakness for his smile but his not going to tell him that. 

 

“ _I said_ , that Sehun is bringing his friend with him.”

 

“Oh, really? Who is she?”

 

“You mean him?” He grinned to his friend. “He’s from the same class as Sehun. I think they’ve been friends even before university.”

 

Baekhyun was quiet for a few seconds before he opened his mouth. 

 

“You know a lot, don’t you?” 

 

“What do you mean?” Luhan lifted his gaze to Baekhyun, still holding his smile.

 

“About Sehun.”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

“Oh, come on! It’s obvious that you like him.” He noticed how Luhan's cheeks started to get a little red. So he decided to push it a little more. “But I think he likes you too.” He said nonchalantly while putting his hands to his jeans front pockets. 

 

Luhan stopped on his tracks, face even redder than before. 

 

“H-How you know that?” Baekhyun turned around and smiled at his friend, he can look so innocent sometimes. Baekhyun was quiet for a second before he said anything. 

 

“I can see it when he looks at you.” Luhan was too busy looking at the ground because of the embarrassment he felt. That’s why he missed the sad smile on Baekhyun's lips. 

 

They didn’t even notice that they reached the club. There wasn’t that much line to the club, probably most of the university students were inside partying already. 

 

They made their way to the line, waiting for their turn. The security guard checked their IDs before he let them inside. It was the first time for Baekhyun to be in this nightclub, but for Luhan, he had been there for a few times already, so he knew his way there.

 

Baekhyun was amazed. The nightclub was beautiful, there were different colors of lights that shone in almost every part of the club. In the middle, there was a huge dance floor, that was on a lower level and there were stairs on every side that lead to the dance floor. It was almost full, there were a lot of people dancing on the rhythm of the music. Baekhyun recognized most of the people were from his university, but he couldn’t remember their names and by the looks of them, many of them were obviously drunk. On the sides of the dance floor were two bars, one on the left and the other on the right. On the ceilings in the top of the bar, there were triangle shaped lights that gave the bar frosted lightning. Decorating the back wall, there were various alcohol bottles categorized by brand. 

 

Luhan's voice broke Baekhyun's moment of admiring the place. 

 

“I think Sehun is on the left side of the bar.”

 

Baekhyun followed Luhan to the left side, where he recognized the familiar ash blond hair. 

 

Sehun just happened to turn around when Luhan and Baekhyun were making their way to him. When he saw Luhan making his way to him with Baekhyun trailing behind, a wide smile started to form to his face. 

 

 _There’s the look._ Baekhyun thought when he saw Sehun look at Luhan. It was like nothing else mattered to him. That’s how deep the gaze was. 

 

“Hey there!” Sehun greeted them but his eyes were still on Luhan, who started to blush a little from the gaze. 

 

“Hey Sehun!” Baekhyun greeted and slapped playfully Sehun's arm, only then did he take his eyes away from Luhan. 

 

“Where is your friend?” Luhan asked quietly. 

 

“He went to the bathroom. I think he’s coming back soon.” 

 

Luhan and Sehun started talking about the exams and how’s their week been going.

 

Again, Baekhyun started to drift to his own world. He was thinking about how lucky Luhan was. Sehun was glorious. He was every girl's dream at the campus and sometimes he could hear how the girls in the hallways talked about him. Sehun had a slightly longer ash blond hair, but still, his eyebrows were brown. His eyes were like chocolate, _beautiful._ Slim nose and small but plump lips, that had a rosy color in them. He had broad shoulders and muscular arms. Baekhyun remembers when he first saw Sehun on the first year of university, he was thin and he didn’t have much muscles on him. Comparing to now, he has changed so much from the first year. He was a guy blessed with good looks and an amazing personality. And even though almost every girl at the campus had their eyes on Sehun, he only had his eyes on Luhan from the first day he saw him. It was admirable how dedicated Sehun was to him.

 

 _How lucky indeed._ Baekhyun smiled to himself.

 

“Oh look, there he is!” Sehun started to wave someone behind Baekhyun. 

 

Baekhyun turned around, scanning through the crowd, trying to find the person Sehun is waving at. 

 

He couldn't believe his eyes.

 

 _He was gorgeous._ He could hear a faint sound of the bass of the song that was playing on the background and when the strangers eyes land on Baekhyun, he swears that he stopped breathing for a while.

 

* * *

 

He was walking in the hallway while remembering that night. He could never forget how those beautiful eyes staring at him in the club. He wanted to see those eyes smiling at him so badly and only for him. He thought that he has never seen anything that beautiful, _until that night._

 

When he reached the doorway of the bedroom, he stopped there just to look. He didn’t hear any noises coming from the small bed, but what he saw, was those same unforgettable eyes, staring at him with a sleepy smile in the face. 

 

_God, he would do anything just for that smile._

 

* * *

 

Baekhyun couldn’t take his eyes off him. Even though it was a little dark, he could still see his features well. He was really tall and he was a little chubbier but he still had muscles on him, for Baekhyun, he looked really attractive. He was wearing a blue denim jacket with a white t-shirt underneath that showed a little bit of his toned chest. His black jeans were ripped from his knees, showing them slightly. 

 

But what caught his attention, was the stranger's ears. _So adorable._ It was the only thing Baekhyun could think about. 

 

He had black slightly curly hair that covered his forehead. Baekhyun wanted so badly to run his fingers through those messy locks and see his forehead. His face was also a little rounder, but it suited him. 

 

Baekhyun could see a pair of round eyes that stared at him and he wanted so badly to know the color of them. He didn’t have to wonder for long because he realized that the stranger was the one Sehun was waving at. The stranger started to make his way towards them, through the dancing crowd, eyes still locked with Baekhyun. 

 

“Hey man, where have you been?” It was Sehun's voice that got Baekhyun to take his eyes away from the stranger.

 

The stranger reached them, he had to take his gaze away from Baekhyun to answer Sehun. “Sorry, there was a line to the bathroom.”

 

 _His voice is so deep,_ Baekhyun gulped. 

 

When he looked at the stranger again, he found his eyes already looking at him. 

 

 _Cognac brown._ His eyes were breathtaking.

 

Sehun went next to the stranger, putting his arm around his shoulders. “Luhan, Baekhyun, this is my friend Chanyeol.” 

 

Chanyeol lifted his hand to wave to the two. “Hey.” 

 

“So, how about some drinks?” Baekhyun asks soon after the greeting. He didn’t expect Chanyeol to be the first one to answer. 

 

“I’m buying one for you.” Chanyeol gave him a little smile. _And the butterflies were back._ Baekhyun smiled to himself when Chanyeol turned around to go to the counter to get the drinks with Sehun, then he realized that Chanyeol didn’t even ask what he wanted to drink. 

 

He started to follow Chanyeol to tell him what he wanted, but then he saw a woman talking to Chanyeol. Baekhyun could see that she was trying to flirt with the taller one, she was slightly leaning to the counter, her hips upraised a little. Her other hand was playing with her hair, the other one was touching Chanyeol's forearm and it gave Baekhyun a weird feeling to his stomach again, _jealousy._ It was new to Baekhyun, he wanted so badly to go and get that hand away from Chanyeol. But he didn’t have to, because the next thing he saw was Chanyeol taking the girls hand away from him and to grab the drinks before walking away Sehun trailing behind him.

 

It made Baekhyun smile shyly even without his knowing, because he couldn’t hide the little happiness he felt when he saw Chanyeol rejecting the girl and when Chanyeol saw Baekhyun's shy smile, he had to know what’s the smile about.

 

”Why are you smiling like that?” Chanyeol asked from the smaller one, a small smirk playing on his lips when he reached him and handing him a simple beer bottle.

 

”Nothing. Thank you for the drink.” He was still smiling while answering to Chanyeol and taking the drink from the taller one. 

 

”You’re welcome.” Chanyeol said to him while looking down at him and smiling sheepishly.

 

“Luhan, could you take a picture of me and Chanyeol?” Sehun asked after he handed Luhan a drink. 

 

“Yes, of course.” Sehun gave Luhan his phone to use for the picture taking and Luhan handed his drink to Baekhyun to hold for a while. 

 

Baekhyun watched from the side while Luhan took the picture, but when he saw Chanyeol smiling to the camera, he could swear his heart skipped a few beats. All Baekhyun could think was, _oh god._ Even if the smile wasn’t directed to him, there were butterflies in his stomach.

 

The feeling was new to him, he has never felt like this about anyone. It scares him a little, but somehow it fascinates him. He needs more. He needs to know more about him. 

 

After the picture was taken, Sehun guided Luhan to sit with him, saying that he needed to talk to him. He wanted to spend more time with him but also let Chanyeol have more time with Baekhyun because he saw how they looked at each other.

 

”So, you are in the same class with Luhan?” Chanyeol soon broke the silence between them.

 

”Yes, I am.” Baekhyun then realized how tall Chanyeol actually was, because he had to look up a little while talking to him. But he couldn't deny, it made him even more attractive.

 

”Your major is also art?”

 

”Yes, Studio Art if you want to be more accurate.” Baekhyun laughed a little. ”And what is yours?”

 

”Was International Development.” Baekhyun looked at him with curious eyes, trying to understand what did the giant mean. ”I already graduated a few months ago.” 

 

Taking his gaze away from the smaller one, Chanyeol looked around and he saw Sehun and Luhan sitting in one of the couches in the corner behind Baekhyun. He was about to propose to the smaller one to go and sit with them, but then he saw someone eyeing Baekhyun from their direction. He didn’t like that at all. The stranger eyed Baekhyun from head to toe while taking a sip of his drink. Chanyeol glared the stranger, his eyebrows knitted together, he raised his chin a little which made him look intimidating.

 

Baekhyun noticed this and was about to turn around and look what’s going on, but Chanyeol was faster. He grabbed Baekhyun's forearm gently, gaining his attention again. ”Do you want to go outside? It’s really stuffy here.” Chanyeol said while looking down directly to Baekhyun's eyes and when Baekhyun's gaze met Chanyeol's, he couldn’t turn away. His eyes were so captivating, they filled him with butterflies, those cognac-brown eyes, they were so easy to get lost in. 

 

He was so busy looking into Chanyeol's eyes, he didn’t even realize when did he nod and agreed to go outside. Chanyeol gently put his hand on Baekhyun's lower back in a possessive manner, while looking back at the goggling stranger, sending him a clear message that Baekhyun was off limits for him. 

 

They made their way to the clubs outdoor area. When they stepped outside, a small wind blew past them and Chanyeol could smell a faint scent of vanilla coming from Baekhyun, he loved it right away. He couldn’t understand how everything about the other made him smile in every way and it’s someone he just met an hour ago. _He needed more._

 

They stood next to each other quietly for a few minutes, listening to the voices around them, the others speaking, a faint sound of cars and their horns. You would think that the silence was awkward, but it wasn’t, for them it was comfortable, they have never felt this comfortable with anyone. It shocked them both. It was clear to them, they both needed to know more.

 

 

 _”Can I take you out tomorrow?”_  

 

 

 

 

 

He was nervous, like dead nervous. The clock was two in the day, he still had few hours before their _date_. His palms very sweating, he was walking around in his apartment which led to him almost breaking the vase his mother gave to him when he first moved in. He would have never thought that he would say yes so easily when Chanyeol asked him out, he spoke without thinking. That’s not him. He couldn’t believe how restless he felt with just a thought of going out with Chanyeol. 

 

He went through his outfit so many times that he already lost count. He didn’t know what kind of date it was going to be, so he decided to go with a casual look. He wore a large denim jacket with a white t-shirt underneath it, paired with black jeans. He was looking at himself from the mirror, but he wasn’t pleased with his choice of outfit, it was somehow familiar. No, this is the same outfit that Chanyeol wore yesterday, he couldn’t possibly wear this. He quickly threw the clothes away and started going through his closet again. _Yes._ He paired white, long-sleeved turtleneck shirt with ripped jeans that were light blue. He was turning around in every direction in front of the mirror. 

 

 _This will do._ Baekhyun was happy with his outfit. It was simple but it kept him warm.

 

He didn’t style his hair at all, he just let it fall to his forehead naturally. He applied a little eyeliner to make his blue eyes stand out a little. He put on a little bit of a vanilla scented perfume to his neck, but not too much. He didn’t want the other to choke.

 

Baekhyun admired himself from the mirror, feeling satisfied with his reflection. He took a deep breath and smiled to himself. _You can do it._

 

Behind all of that nervousness, there was excitement. He was excited to know more about this person. The person he found so god damn attractive with those eyes and big ears. Baekhyun wants to know, what kind of person is behind those stunning eyes and he wants to know all of it. The good and the bad things. The ups and downs. 

 

He heard three knocks coming from the front door, his eyes immediately went to the direction where the sound came from. He took one last look at himself from the mirror, shaking from the nervousness. He started walking towards the door with hurried steps, almost dripping to the pile of clothes on the floor. When he grabbed the doors handle, he stopped for a second to take a deep breath before he opened the door. 

 

But there was no one there. Baekhyun just stood there confused and he took a step towards to look outside.

 

”What the-” When he was about to look outside, someone came out from the corner. ”So it was the right one!” Chanyeol announced with the deep voice of his. He could smell faint vanilla lingering in the air.

 

Baekhyun shrieked because of the sudden appearance. ”You scared the shit out of me.” He put his hand to his chest.

 

Chanyeol was wearing a black turtleneck paired with black jeans and a long black coat. His curly black hair was a little messy from the wind outside. Black looked good on Chanyeol, it made him look confident. And attractive as hell.

 

”Oh, I’m sorry. I knocked, but there was no answer, so I thought that I-” The sudden silence made Baekhyun look at the taller one.

 

Baekhyun just stared at him confused. ”What?” Chanyeol’s eyes just went slowly up and down over and over again, examining Baekhyun’s appearance with a little smirk playing on his lips.

 

”W-why you’re looking at me like that?” Baekhyun started to panic. ”Is the outfit not good? Do you want me to change or-”

 

”No! No, please don’t.”

 

Baekhyun stopped on his tracks.

 

”You look amazing.” The taller one told him with a smirk still playing on his lips. Chanyeol noticed now, how blue actually the smaller one's eyes were when there was more light, it was almost as blue as the sky in the summer and on top of that Baekhyun had highlighted his eyes with a hint of eyeliner, he has never seen anything so gorgeous. The color of the smaller one's eyes instantly became his favorite. He just couldn’t stop staring at them, but when the smaller one started to blush and laugh nervously, something flipped inside Chanyeol. _Adorable._  

 

”Thank you,” Baekhyun whispered. ”you too.”

 

Chanyeol was smiling brightly. ”You ready to go?” Chanyeol asked while putting his hands to his pockets.

 

”Oh, yeah. Let me just grab my jacket and my phone.” You could still see a faint blush on Baekhyun’s cheeks when he was grabbing his gray jacket from the clothing stand. He fetched his phone from the kitchen table and checked that he had his keys in his pockets before walking back to the door. ”Okay, let’s go.” He said while closing the door behind him. Chanyeol was gazing at him with a smile and Baekhyun saw his tongue playing with the right corner of his teeth. 

 

What Baekhyun didn’t realize was, when he closed the door of his apartment, at the same time, he opened a whole new one. 

 

* * *

  

After their first meeting in the nightclub, they started to see each other regularly. It started from the little coffee dates to get to know each other slowly because there was no rush. In their dates, Baekhyun learned that Chanyeol was taking distant courses from the university because of his job. That’s why he hasn’t really seen him around the campus. 

 

Chanyeol was a loving person with a big heart. His eyes always light up when he smiles, those cognac-brown eyes shining so bright, Baekhyun loved that. Chanyeol also loved coffee as much as Baekhyun did, that’s why almost every time their dates included coffee. They’ve gotten really close in such a short time, but it just felt right for both of them.

 

They were walking in the street towards their favorite coffee place. _The place they went on their first_ date. They’re going to meet Sehun and Luhan there, it has been a few months already from their meeting in the nightclub. Baekhyun and Luhan had their graduation one month back and after that, Chanyeol and Baekhyun have been spending so much time with each other, Sehun and Luhan demanded that the two would meet them somewhere. 

 

“I think it’s going to rain soon.” Chanyeol turned to look at the smaller one. 

 

Baekhyun hadn’t done anything to his hair, so it was a little wavy after taking a shower, but Chanyeol finds it cute that way. He was wearing a baby blue college shirt with black jeans. A faint scent of vanilla lingering in the air.

 

“How do you always manage to look so captivating?” 

 

Baekhyun was taken back from the sudden compliment, but in this few months they have been spending time together, he has learned that Chanyeol says almost everything that’s in his mind. His cheeks started to get a faint pink color in them, but for Chanyeol it was the cutest thing ever.

 

He sneaked his hand to capture Baekhyun's right hand, then he lifted it up, planting a small kiss to his knuckles. “Your blushing face is seriously the cutest thing ever.” Baekhyun's face started to get even redder, but he couldn’t stop his face from smiling brightly while looking at those cognac-brown eyes, full of affection. 

 

They stayed like that for a moment, staring at each other. Forgetting the world around them, it was like the time stopped for them, so they could just enjoy the moment they have. 

 

Rain started to pour down slowly, one drop dropped to the tip of Baekhyun's nose, making him giggle a little. After that, the rain started to pour down heavily.

 

”Come on! We are going to get wet if we don’t find shelter.” 

 

Baekhyun laughed while taking a better hold of Chanyeol's hand and started running towards the nearest shelter, which luckily was the coffee place they were meeting their friends. It didn’t matter how fast they ran, they still got wet from the rain. 

 

While catching their breaths, Chanyeol scanned the inside of the cafe and didn’t see Luhan or Sehun anywhere. ”I think they are not here yet.”

 

Then he felt a light squeeze on his hand. He looked down to his and Baekhyun's interacted hands. He lifted his gaze up to Baekhyun's eyes that were already staring at him or more specifically _his lips._  

 

Chaneyol turned his body to face Baekhyun. 

 

”Baek-” He didn’t get to finish what he wanted to say, because, _Baekhyun kissed him._ It was a small kiss, a shy one, but Baekhyun didn’t move after pulling away. He stayed still, looking between Chanyeol's eyes and lips, breathing against the taller one's lips. _”Kiss me?”_ He whispered.

 

He didn’t need to ask twice. Chanyeol was already leaning down to devour the other's lips. The kiss was still gentle and innocent, but it held passion, because believe it or not, it was their _first kiss._

 

At that moment everything became hazy, the only thing Chanyeol could focus on was the person in front of him. It was funny because, in that first kiss they shared, he realized that this person, is a person he wants to kiss for the rest of his life. He wanted to cry and laugh at the same time because he felt so _god damn_ lucky. He lifted his free hand to cup Baekhyun's cheek, he softly caressed his cheekbone with his thumb while Baekhyun grabbed Chanyeol's shirt with his hands trying to get him even closer. 

 

After pulling away, they didn’t move. They just stared at each other, smiling, because they were both so god damn lucky.

 

* * *

 

He was sitting next to the small bed, his eyes were scanning through the photos on top of the shelf in the back wall. Their house was full of photos because he liked to have something to remind him about everything that has happened in his life. The memories that the photos brought back, were everything to him and he didn’t mind remembering them. 

 

His eyes landed on the photo in the middle of the shelf, in front of it there were a few painting brushes, they have been there for a while now because he didn’t have the will to move them. For him, it felt like they belonged there. In the middle, there was a picture of them in the coffee shop and they were soaked. 

 

In the photo, the taller one was kissing the smaller one's head, while the other was smiling brightly to the camera. The taller one's hand was wrapped around the other's waist because after their kiss, they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. They got a few comments about it from their friends, but they didn’t let it bother them because they felt too over the moon to be bothered.

 

His eyes moved on to the next photo. He smiled at the photo so brightly because the day that the photo was taken, was blessed in every way possible.

 

_It was their moving day._

 

* * *

 

The years went by and after two and a half years of dating, Chanyeol popped the question that Baekhyun has been waiting for a while now. _He asked Baekhyun to move in with him._ They both felt like it was about time because they already spend most of their days in Chanyeol's apartment.

 

A week went by after Chanyeol had asked the question. Baekhyun was at his house, deciding what to take with him and what he would sell away. 

 

For the last week, he hasn’t been feeling well but he thought that it was just moving stress. It made sense to him, until yesterdays morning, when he woke up because of nausea. He ran to the bathroom and puked all of yesterday's dinner. Tears were running from his eyes from the vomiting when he sat on the bathroom floor and his head leaning on his hands. He was still not feeling well and he felt a little dizzy, in his head there were all kinds of theories what could be the cause of the sickness he felt. Maybe he just ate something bad yesterday.

 

He decided to see if it was the one thought, that was stronger than the others.

 

He got up from the floor slowly, flushed the toilet and walked to his bedroom. Taking the phone and dialing the number where he knew, he would get the answers he needed.

 

” _Dr. Kim’s office, Clara speaking.”_

 

 

 

 

Another week went by, Baekhyun and Chanyeol were moving the smaller one's things to Chanyeol's place. Baekhyun decided to sell most of his furniture because he felt like he didn’t need them. Mostly because Chanyeol already had everything, but also because he liked the way Chanyeol's place looked like right now. It was cozy and it reminded him of his boyfriend, that's why he didn’t want to change a thing.

 

While Chanyeol was carrying the boxes up to his apartment, Baekhyun was in the bedroom, unpacking the boxes where his clothes were. His clothes took most of the space in the closet, but Chanyeol was expecting this and he bought Baekhyun his own dresser, where he could put the rest of his clothes, that didn’t fit in the main closet. 

 

 _He’s so thoughtful._ Baekhyun smiled to himself.

 

He got his clothing boxes unpacked and then he picked up a smaller box that was in the ground. It contained his photos and other stuff from his table. He opened the box, the first thing he saw was a photo of him and Luhan at their graduation. They were wearing navy blue capes with a matching hat. In their hands, they were holding their certificates from their university.

 

While looking at the photo, he thought to himself that he has to give Luhan a call in the next few days. He has so much to tell him. Luhan was currently in Japan with Sehun, the two of them decided that they needed a little break of everything, so they took the next plane to Japan. They won't be back until next week.

 

Luhan and Sehun have been together almost as long as he and Chanyeol. Their relationship was more slowly developing because they both were really shy about their feelings towards each other. They just needed a little push, from Baekhyun and Chanyeol.

 

And for Luhan, it has always been hard to trust people so it took him a while to let Sehun in. Baekhyun remembers all the nights in their dorm with Luhan, talking about how he wanted to have Sehun in his life, but he was scared. His past wasn't the easiest so it was understandable that he was insecure. But now, Baekhyun bets that Luhan knows that, it was the best decision to let Sehun to his life. He's glowing these days.

 

Baekhyun smiled to himself while picking up the next photo from the box, it was a photo of him and Chanyeol at the cafe. A big smile started to form to his face while thinking that day, the day of their first kiss. A lot has happened after that and now they are moving in together. He put his hand on his stomach unconsciously.

 

Everybody knows that relationships aren’t always sunshine and rainbows. Heck, the couple had a really bad argument once that almost led to them breaking up. They didn’t speak to each other in a whole week after their fight, but you could say that it did more good than bad. Because both of them realized how empty their lives would be without another. They realized how deeply they are intertwined with each other because it was so hard to just walk away. After that, the fight was long forgotten. 

 

Baekhyun was so lost in his own world, he didn’t hear the footsteps behind him. Until he felt large hands circling around his waist, but it didn’t scare him because he knew the owner of those hands.

 

”What are you looking at?” A deep voice almost whispered next to the smaller one's ear.

 

”This.” Baekhyun lifted the photo a little so that Chanyeol could have a better look at the photo.

 

”Mmm, that was a good day.” Chanyeol smiled to the photo, his right hand started going up and down on Baekhyun's side, making the smaller one giggle a little.

 

”It was.” Baekhyun smiled to the photo one last time before putting it on top of the dresser. ”Did you get all of the boxes up?” He asked while turning around facing Chanyeol and putting his hands around his neck. Chanyeol's hands didn’t move from the smaller one's waist, he started to caress Baekhyun's hip bone's because he knew that the smaller one loved that. 

 

”Yes, I did. There weren’t that many, to begin with.” He said while giving Baekhyun quick kiss on his rosy lips. ”Would you like have a coffee break, hmm?” 

 

”I could have some tea.” 

 

”Are you sure you don’t have a fever or something? Where is my coffee addict?” Chanyeol asked while putting his hand on the smaller one's forehead and then cupping his face. Baekhyun let out a nervous laugh, but it went unnoticed from Chanyeol.

 

”Okay.” Chanyeol kissed Baekhyun's forehead. ”I’ll make you some tea. The one with vanilla on it, right?”

 

”Yes please.” He smiled to the taller one.

 

When Chanyeol left the room, Baekhyun took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves a little. He has to tell the other something, and he has to do it before they start to plan more of their future together because it’s going to affect it a lot. He’s so scared of the others reaction. What if he doesn’t want anything to do with him after? What if after he says it, Chanyeol will kick him out. Out of his apartment, out of his life. All kinds of thoughts went through his head, but he has to do it. 

 

He took another deep breath before following Chanyeol to the kitchen.

 

”You can do it.” He whispered to himself. 

 

In the kitchen, Chanyeol was putting water to the electric kettle. Baekhyun took a moment to admire the man. In the years, Chanyeol has gained more muscle on him, his shoulders have become wider, his biceps were visible even without him flexing them and you could see the veins in his forearms. His bum also got rounder, which Baekhyun didn’t mind at all. 

 

He was wearing a black t-shirt, paired with simple blue jeans. The black t-shirt he was wearing, revealed a tattoo on his forearm, that he got with Baekhyun a few months back. Baekhyun also got one, you could say that they were a  _couple tattoos_ , if you want to address it that way. 

 

Chanyeol's tattoo said: ” _Pertenezco a mi amada.._ ”, and it continued on Baekhyun's forearm: ”.. _y mi amadame pertenece._ ”

 

Baekhyun took a last deep breath and walked to the counter that was between him and Chanyeol. 

 

”Yeol..”

 

”Hmm?” Chanyeol looked behind his shoulder for a second, letting Baekhyun know that he was listening and went back on filling the coffee machine.

 

There was silence for a few seconds before Baekhyun opened his mouth. ”You have a niece, right?” 

 

”Yeah, I do. Why you ask?”

 

”I-I just-I was just wondering why I haven’t met her yet.”

 

Chanyeol turned around to look at Baekhyun, who was looking back at Chanyeol with a shy expression.

 

”I don’t know. My sister has been really busy with Bella. Even I haven’t spent that much time with her, but she’s only six months old. I think it’s the time when she needs to be with her mother and father most of the time.” Chanyeol paused for a second and smiled at Baekhyun. ”Do you want to meet her?”  

 

”Maybe, yeah. Yes, I think so. Yeah, it would be nice.” He gave Chanyeol a shy smile.

 

”I can arrange that if you want.”

 

Baekhyun smiled at Chanyeol. ”Please.”

 

Chanyeol smiled back to Baekhyun, he turned around to put the coffee machine on.

 

”What you think about kids?” Baekhyun quickly asked, raising his voice a little, which made him earn a weird look from Chanyeol.

 

”What do you mean?” Chanyeol laughed.

 

”I mean.. Would you like to have them someday?”

 

Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun for a few seconds, before he started walking towards the counter that was between them. He put his palms on the counter, leaning in a little so he was a little above Baekhyun.

 

”If it’s with you, then yes. I would like to have children someday. If you want them, of course.” Chanyeol looked straight to the smaller one's eyes and smiled. And for Baekhyun, it felt like the most genuine smile he had ever seen. He kissed his forehead, it took away all the nervousness from Baekhyun. Maybe he was ready to tell him.

 

Chanyeol turned and opened the cabinet to get the cups ready for them. When he touched the handle of the mug. It happened.

 

 

_”I’m pregnant.”_

 

 

Everything happened so fast, the cup Chanyeol was holding from the handle, came down with a little too much force that when it hit the counter, it broke. But the handle was still hanging in his forefinger.

 

Chanyeol quickly turned around to look at Baekhyun with an unreadable expression. His eyes were wide open and so was his mouth. He almost looked like he was terrified, Baekhyun has never seen this look on Chanyeol's face.

 

Seconds went by, maybe even minutes, Baekhyun didn’t know. He was just staring at the man before him, his face hasn’t changed at all.

 

”Baby, please say something. You’re scaring me.” He tried to get a reaction from him, but he just continued to stare at him for another minute before he spoke.

 

”You… Are yo- You sure?” 

 

All Baekhyun could do was nod.

 

”Whe- How- You’re absolutely sure?” This time Chanyeol was pointing at him with his forefinger, where the handle of the mug was still hanging. 

 

Baekhyun founded a little funny, he couldn’t stop himself for smiling a little. ”Yes, I’m sure.”

 

It happened in a second. Chanyeol was on the same side of the counter with Baekhyun, hugging him tightly and lifting the smaller one up. They spin around a few times, the handle of the mug flying somewhere in the air, Chanyeol was breathing heavily on Baekhyun's neck, but a smile never left his face. 

 

He put Baekhyun down, cupped his face and gave him a loving kiss.

 

”When did you- How long have you known?” Chanyeol still couldn’t talk properly, but it was funny to Baekhyun.

 

”About a week.”

 

”And now you tell me.” Chanyeol tried to sound a little hurt, but it didn’t work because he was just too happy. ”Have you told anyone else?”

 

”No, no. It’s still too early.”

 

”Yeah yeah, you’re right.” Chanyeol looked at the eyes of his boyfriend, those sky blue eyes of the mother of his future child and he couldn’t feel more blessed than he already feels. ”I’m going to be a dad.” He smiled brightly while putting his other hand on Baekhyun's still flat stomach.

 

Baekhyun couldn’t express the happiness he felt from Chanyeol's reaction towards his pregnancy, he was so scared to tell him at first because they haven’t talked about having kids at the moment. But seeing the happiness on those cognac-brown eyes, he was sure he did the right thing. He smiled to the taller one: ”You’re going to be an amazing dad.” He said to his beloved and put his hand on top of the larger one. ”And you’re going to be an amazing mother.” Chanyeol said to him before he gave the smaller one a small kiss that was full of affection, and Baekhyun felt all of it. Chanyeol pulled away for a second to look at the smaller one again.

 

”I love you, you know that right?”

 

”I love you too, Yeol.”

 

_They were both so blessed._

  

* * *

  

Small giggle next to him, brought him back from his daydreaming. He looked down at the small bed, seeing those sky blue eyes looking straight at him with a smile on those small lips.

 

”Hey, beautiful.” He put his large hand on top of her stomach, it was covering her whole stomach because she was still so small. His thumb started to gently caress the side of her stomach, making the little one giggle a little. With her small hand, she grabbed the pinkie of the large hand that was on her stomach. He founded so adorable.

 

He leaned in to give a small kiss to her forehead, while putting the other hand on top of her head, giving small strokes on that small blond head.

 

”Did you have a good nap?” He nuzzled his nose with her nose, earning a few more giggles from the small one. ”Of course you did.” 

 

She started to wiggle her small legs from the excitement of seeing his father smiling at her. ”Shh, shh” He tried to calm her down and looked to the right, where he could see a little bit of black hair coming out from under the thick blanket. He was making sure that the other didn’t wake up. 

 

”Let’s not wake him up yet, won’t we?”

 

He picked Azura from the bed as quiet as possible, trying not to wake the sleeping figure next to her. ”He needs a little more sleep than you do.”

 

Azura smiled to her dad, she put her hands on his face, maybe not in such a gentle matter but he didn’t mind. He carried her to the living room, in the floor there was her pink blanket with brown bears on it, around it was a few of her toys together with her favorite stuffed animal, Mr. Fox. He put her down to the blanket on her stomach, he was hoping that she would start crawling soon. There have been a few tries already, so it can happen any day now. She immediately grabbed Mr. Fox next to her, while her father took the coffee mug from the table and sat down next to her. 

 

He watched fascinated how Azura took a look at all the toys around her, but she never let go of the gray fox. The fox was the first thing her mother had bought for her, of course, she didn’t know that, but he felt like Azura somehow knew how much value the fox held. _For every one of them._

 

* * *

 

After two months from Baekhyun breaking the news for Chanyeol of him being pregnant, Baekhyun couldn’t be happier at the moment. He was staying at home, taking care of the apartment while Chanyeol was at work and of course painting. They made space in Chanyeol’s office room for his painting supplies. After doing his daily tasks in the apartment, he would hide in the room to paint. It worked because Chanyeol spent most of his daytime in the office, he would usually come back home around six o’clock in the evening and at that time Baekhyun was always making dinner for them, so he was out of the way if Chanyeol needed to continue his work.

 

Chanyeol tried to make as much free time as he can, so he could spend time with his pregnant boyfriend. Baekhyun was happy about this, but he still told Chanyeol that it was enough for him that he came home every evening. Really, it was enough for Baekhyun that he got to eat with Chanyeol every evening and afterward just to lay on the couch in Chanyeol’s lap, watching TV while the large hand of his boyfriend caressed his growing belly. Those moments, were the ones he loved.

 

Baekhyun was sitting in front of the huge easel starting on a new painting. In this one, he decided to use different tones of black and white. The last few paintings he has done, they have all been colorful and cheery, so now he decided to go in another direction. He had a cup of vanilla tea on the table next to him, he was ready.

 

He started sketching his work, it was two in the afternoon, so he had a lot of time before Chanyeol would come home from work. He started to get lost in his own world, blocking all the sounds around him while drawing lines and patterns to the board. He just let his hand go with the flow, he just drew what came to his mind. He never had a proper idea when he started to sketch his next painting, the idea comes to him later.

 

He broke from his trance when he heard the front door open. He gazed the clock on the wall, it was almost half past three. Chanyeol wasn't supposed to come home yet. Baekhyun put his pen down and took a towel to clean his hands from the lead. He stood up and made his way to the hallway. When he turned around the corner, he saw Chanyeol taking his shoes off. 

 

Chanyeol heard Baekhyun’s footsteps from the hallway, he knew right away that the other was in the office painting.

 

The taller one stood up and faced Baekhyun. ”Hey, sweetie.” 

 

”Hey.” Baekhyun walked in front of Chanyeol to give him a home welcoming kiss, but the taller one wasn’t happy with just one, so he kissed Baekhyun again, with a deeper kiss while his right hand was caressing the smaller one's belly. 

 

”Why are you home so early?” Baekhyun smiled to his boyfriend.

 

”What? I can’t come home earlier to spend time with you?” Chanyeol said while taking off his jacket. He was wearing a navy blue suit with a white dress shirt and a red tie. The white dress shirt hugged his upper body muscles from all the right places, from the biceps and the chest. It made Baekhyun want to lick his lips, but he knew where that would lead to. Chanyeol had his hair styled so that his forehead was showing, he looked like another man, compared to the curly and fluffy hair he has after a shower. This hairstyle brought him the authority he needed.

 

”You know what I mean.” Baekhyun smiled brightly to Chanyeol. He put the towel hanging to the back of the chair, that was in their hallway.

 

”I took the evening off.” Chanyeol said while loosening his tie and walking towards the bedroom, Baekhyun trailing behind him. When they reached the bedroom, Chanyeol turned to face Baekhyun. ”I would like to take you out for dinner.” 

 

Baekhyun stopped to lean on the doorway and crossing his arms to his chest. ”Really?” He was looking at Chanyeol, an amused smirk playing on his lips. ”My homemade cooking is not good enough for you?”

 

Chanyeol stopped unbuttoning his dress shirt and turned to Baekhyun. 

 

”I just want to spoil you a little.” He paused for a second while taking his shirt off. ”And you get a break from cooking.”

 

”Have I ever said that I’m tired of cooking?” The smaller one still had amused smirk playing on lips. Mostly because he wanted to tease Chanyeol, but also because of the way the taller one looked with just suits trousers on and without a shirt. You could only imagine the view, and it was just for him to see.

 

”No, of course not, but… Have you seen my gray-” Chanyeol’s eyes landed on the gray sweatshirt Baekhyun was wearing.”-sweatshirt.”

 

Baekhyun looked down for a second, realizing what the taller one meant. He lifted his gaze back up to look at Chanyeol, still keeping the smirk on his lips. ”What if I haven’t?” A smirk started to form on Chanyeol’s lips too. He began to take small steps closer to Baekhyun. ”Well, that would be unfortunate.” The smaller one stopped leaning on the doorway and stood straight, watching as the taller one came closer and closer. ”And why is that?” He said while tilting his head to the side.

 

Chanyeol reached where Baekhyun was standing, his eyes never leaving Baekhyun’s. He placed his hands on the smaller one's waist, lifting the shirt a little to reveal a little of the skin of Baekhyun’s stomach. ”That means that I have look for it, v _ery carefully.”_ He whispered the last part, sending shivers to Baekhyun’s spine. Chanyeol’s lips were tracing on Baekhyun’s, but not entirely touching them. He could feel Chanyeol’s breath in his mouth, the taller one was teasing him, but Baekhyun wasn’t having it. He crashed their lips together, placing his hands around the taller one’s neck, other hand pulling him closer. Chanyeol immediately responded to the kiss. His hands began to lift the smaller one’s shirt, caressing the soft skin that revealed underneath. The kiss was passionate but still restrained. They weren’t devouring each other, they were savoring every moment of their kiss like it could be the last one. 

 

When they finally pulled away, Baekhyun kept his eyes closed for a second while Chanyeol was grinning widely.

 

”We can continue this later, but now I really want to take you for that dinner.” He gave a peck on Baekhyun’s forehead before letting go of him. ”Okay, go and take a shower. I’ll take one after you.” Chanyeol said to him and gave Baekhyun a little slap on the butt.

 

”Are you saying that I smell?” Baekhyun shot back at him while walking towards the bathroom, looking at him over his shoulder.

 

The taller one responded almost immediately. ”Maybe a little.” 

 

Baekhyun gasped and turned around completely. He took off Chanyeol’s sweatshirt and threw it at him, but Chanyeol catches the shirt from the air. Baekhyun was already making his way to the bathroom, Chanyeol’s laughter echoing behind him.

 

 

 

 

 

Four months went by quickly. The couple following the same routine almost every day. Baekhyun stayed at home, taking care of the apartment and Chanyeol would work at the office. They ate dinner together every evening and afterward they would either stay inside and watch TV or go outside to take a walk in the park. 

 

Lately, Baekhyun preferred to go out because it was fall and Baekhyun absolutely loved the season. The trees started to get different colors to them and the leaves began to fall, making almost every park and street covered completely in yellow or red. He wanted to come outside to paint the scene someday, but it was getting really cold and he couldn’t take the risk of getting sick. That’s what Chanyeol was nagging him about. So, he settled for taking a picture and painting it later on.

 

Chanyeol also had a few free days from work, meaning he just said to his secretary that he will be out for a few days. But whenever Chanyeol was at home with Baekhyun, he would help him as much as he can. The smaller one’s belly was growing really fast and it was already showing properly. He couldn’t hide it anymore, not that he was trying to.

 

Chanyeol always thought that it’s going to be a boy, because of the size of the belly. They decided with Baekhyun that they didn’t want to know the gender until birth. 

 

It made Chanyeol feel bad, that he hadn’t been able to go to the check up’s with Baekhyun because of his work. He always had an important meeting or he was out of the town for another meeting during the checkup. The smaller one has always had to go with Luhan and sometimes Sehun was with them. He was badly trying to make up for it by staying home from time to time.

 

He was currently in the kitchen, unpacking their groceries from the bags. He put the cold ones to the fridge and arranged the others to the cabinets. He took the new set of toothbrushes and began to walk towards their bedroom, to put the brushes into the bathroom. While walking in the hallway, he was looking at the two toothbrushes on his hand. The other one was blue and the other one was white, maybe he should pick the blue one this time.

 

When he reached the bedroom, he saw Baekhyun sitting on the edge of the bed. He was staring at his own hands, but Chanyeol saw a glimpse of a pacifier Baekhyun was holding. The smaller one looked absent which made Chanyeol worry.

 

”What’s wrong sweetie?” Chanyeol set the toothbrushes down to the table next to the bed and went closer to Baekhyun. He took a hold of the smaller one’s hands and kneeled in front of him. He began to draw small circles to the smaller one's hands and giving small gazes to Baekhyun’s growing bump.

 

”I’m so scared, Yeol.” Baekhyun whispered. He was still staring at their connected hands in his lap. ”Why? Why are you scared?” Chanyeol asked while observing the others face, comforting smile playing on his lips. 

 

Baekhyun was quiet for a moment before he answered. ”What if I’m a terrible mother? What if I do something wrong?” Few tears began to form to the smaller one's eyes. 

 

”Sweetie, you’re going to be an amazing mother. You’re going to learn on the way.” Chanyeol let go of Baekhyun’s hands and put his hands around the smaller one’s waist, pulling him a little closer so that he was between his legs, hugging his belly. ”And you have me. I’ll be with you through it all.” He planted a small kiss to Baekhyun’s belly and lifted his gaze to the smaller one’s eyes, smiling sincerely.

 

Baekhyun set his hand’s on the sides of Chanyeol’s head and leaned his own head to the taller ones. He took a sniff of Chanyeol’s hair, immediately feeling the comfort of that familiar scent. He whispered a small  _thank you_ to the taller one’s hair. They stayed like that for a while, enjoying the comfort they got from each other.

 

Baekhyun felt a sharp of pain in his head which made him lift his head up, Chanyeol also reacted by lifting his head. 

 

”You have a headache again?” He could nearly see the pain in Baekhyun’s face. He got up from the floor and made Baekhyun lay down to the bed. ”Rest for a while. I’ll take care of the dinner tonight.” He gave Baekhyun a small kiss to his forehead and covered him with a blanket. The smaller one fell asleep almost right away. Chanyeol smiled to himself while gazing at the sleeping figure. 

 

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun was about to enter his seventh month of pregnancy. He couldn’t believe how the time went by so quickly. He was sitting on the couch, caressing his swollen belly. It was getting really hard for him to move around and his feet hurt. He also hasn’t been painting for a while now because his belly keeps getting away. 

 

Chanyeol has been enduring Baekhyun’s cries about how short his hands are when he can’t reach something or if he drops something and can’t pick it up. 

 

But of course, Chanyeol didn’t mind helping the pregnant male. 

 

He has been trying to stay home more because the pregnancy is coming to an end and he wants to be there for Baekhyun if he needs him. And, of course, he has to take care of the nursery room. Chanyeol has one extra room in his apartment, but he has never used it to anything. It was right next to their bedroom so it was perfect for the use. They already have bought a large grip, it was filled with soft blankets and with small pillows that Baekhyun had bought. 

 

Chanyeol still had to assemble a few cabinets to the room, but he couldn’t do it alone and Baekhyun wasn’t the one to help him. So, they asked Luhan and Sehun to come over and Luhan would keep Baekhyun company while Sehun would help him to put together the cabinets.

 

 

Baekhyun was still sitting on the couch when he started to hear voices coming from outside of the apartment.  _Luhan and Sehun were early._

 

Baekhyun began to try and get up from the couch but in vain.

 

”Yeol!” When he didn’t get any answer, he started to yell louder. ”Park Chanyeol goddammit!”

 

Then the doorbell rang and Chanyeol came out of the nursery room to open the door, ignoring the pregnant male on the couch.

 

”Help me up first before you open the door, idiot.” 

 

”Just a second, sweetie.” Chanyeol said, but still opened the door before he went to the couch to help Baekhyun up.

 

Luhan and Sehun were frozen on the doorway. They heard Baekhyun yell all the way to the hall and Sehun was already planning on escaping, snappy Baekhyun was scaring him deeply, but Luhan pushed him inside the apartment.

 

Baekhyun got up from the couch with the help of Chanyeol. The smaller one still gave him a thank you kiss to his cheek, forgetting his sudden outburst just a second ago which surprised Luhan and Sehun. 

 

”Luhan!” Baekhyun was excited to see his best friend after few months. The couple has been traveling a lot, but they still send postcards along their way. ”How was England?” Baekhyun asked while giving Luhan the best hug he can in his condition and the latter hugged him back with pleasure. ”Oh, it was beautiful. Rainy, but still so beautiful.” Luhan smiled to the pregnant male. Baekhyun moved to greet Sehun, giving him a small hug and Sehun gave him a friendly peck on the top of his head while placing his arm around the smaller one’s neck. ”You look good.” 

 

”I feel good.” Baekhyun laughed. ”Well, most of the time.”

  

Chanyeol and Sehun stayed at the kitchen to catch up a little and Baekhyun dragged Luhan to the nursery room to show him the grip and everything else he had bought. 

 

”Oh my god, Baekhyun! This looks amazing.” Luhan was admiring the nursery room. The walls were painted in white, but at the end of the room on the back wall was a small forest, painted with every possible color that existed. The forest animals playing between the trees and birds flying in the sky. The grip was located in front of the wall, it was made of wood but Chanyeol had painted it white.

 

Luhan turned around and saw Baekhyun go through a small box, but he didn’t see what was inside the box. ”Look what I bought.” Baekhyun came closer to Luhan, showing two stuffed foxes. The other one was gray and the other one was white. He handed them to Luhan to take a closer look at them. ”They are adorable.” He was feeling the soft fabric the toys were made of. ”They are going to love them.” Luhan gave the toys back to Baekhyun who placed them to the grip. He was very happy with his buying. 

 

”Have you told him yet?” The blonde male asked him while he was placing the foxes to the grip. ”No, I haven’t.” Baekhyun smiled.

 

Then he felt a sharp pain in his head, he gasped and gripped the right side of his head. His sight blurred for a second, he could see Luhan reacting to his gasp.

 

”Are you okay? Do you want me to get Chanyeol?” He asked while supporting the other male. 

 

”No, no it’s okay. It’s just a little headache.” Baekhyun explained while standing straight and smiling to Luhan.

 

”Are you sure?” He wasn’t very convinced about Baekhyun’s explanations.

 

”Yeah yeah and don’t worry. I’m going to tell him.” The pregnant male smiled and placed his hand on his stomach.

 

”I think you should. He is going to freak out if you go to labor and he doesn’t know.”

 

”I know.” Baekhyun still held the smile on his face.

 

”But I seriously don’t understand how Chanyeol hasn’t noticed that you’re-”

 

”I haven’t noticed what?” 

 

”-having twins.”

 

The smaller males were so lost in their conversation, they didn’t notice that Chanyeol and Sehun had entered the room. They don’t know how long they have been standing there, but they surely heard the last part of their conversation. First, there was confusion on his face, but Chanyeol’s lips slowly started to form a smile of pure happiness. ”You’re- You- We’re having twins? And now you tell me?!” He was almost yelling the last part, but it wasn’t angry yelling. It was a mixture of happiness and confusion.

 

”I’m sorry. He was hiding behind the other baby and-” 

 

”He? It’s a boy? We are having a boy? And the other one?” Chanyeol started to take steps towards Baekhyun, his hands spread on his side like almost ready to take Baekhyun to his embrace.

 

”It’s a girl.” Baekhyun smiled widely and watched as a huge smile started to spread on the taller one’s face.

 

He was captured in a tight hug and he was drowning in kisses Chanyeol was giving him all over his face.

 

”I love you so, so much. You just keep surprising me all over again.”

 

Sehun and Luhan were watching the scene Sehun’s arm around Luhan’s waist. They felt pure happiness towards their friends and they both thought how far they both have come. You could see it from the first moments, how good they are together. They never hid their happiness from anyone, they couldn’t even try. Because the happiness that radiated from their faces, when they were together or apart, was enough to tell everyone, that they had found what they were searching for. 

 

_The love of their lives._

 

  

”But, I mean seriously, how Chanyeol couldn’t see that Baekhyun was expecting twins? His belly is huuuuu-” Luhan was interrupted by Sehun’s hand in front of his mouth. 

 

 

 

 

For him to know that he is going to be a father, not only one but for two beautiful children, he can’t describe the feeling with words. It must have been the most overwhelming feeling he has ever experienced. When he first got to hold the babies in the hospital, seeing that they had Baekhyun’s eyes, he felt a little jealous, to be honest, but now he had three pair’s of those sky blue eyes to look at. He couldn’t be happier.

 

The birth of their children went without any difficulties, although it was a long 14 hours for both of them. The babies were born two hours apart from each other, Azura was born first. Their beautiful baby girl with blond hair and blue eyes, she looked like a princess from a fairytale and god, she was a screamer. Adriel was born two hours later. He was smaller than Azura, with pitch-black hair and blue eyes. He looked just like Chanyeol besides the blue eyes. Unlike Azura, he was quiet when he was born. The doctor’s explained to them that Azura has been the leading fetus which is why Adriel hasn’t had as many nutrients as she has. He’s going to be under observation during the first few months to see how he’s growing and developing. But for now, everything looked good for them.

 

 

_That’s until Baekhyun got sick._

 

Baekhyun hasn’t been feeling well after birth, but they also had to stay at the hospital for a while because of Adriel. They didn’t want to take any risks with him, they wanted him to be safe.

 

Baekhyun’s body was starting to feel weak and his headaches started to get worse day by day. Sometimes his ears and nose would bleed because the pain was too strong. Chanyeol was worried about his boyfriend and because of the headaches, they had to put Baekhyun to medical coma.

 

After a month, Chanyeol was starting to get furious, demanding answers what was wrong with his boyfriend, but the doctors couldn’t figure it out. Baekhyun should have recovered normally, but his condition was just getting worse. He was nearly never awake because his body couldn’t handle the pain, but still, he somehow managed to battle back his conscious, demanding to see Chanyeol and his children. 

 

They brought Azura and Adriel to him, he squeezed himself on his side to the right side of the bed to make room for the babies, ignoring the pain in his head. Chanyeol was already in the room, sitting next to Baekhyun’s bed and watching his family. 

 

 _His family._ He loved the way it sounded.

 

Chanyeol took a hold of Baekhyun’s hand that was laying on top of their children. He gave it a light squeeze while looking straight at Baekhyun’s eyes. The latter lifted his gaze to Chanyeol’s eyes, he could see the worry in those cognac-brown eyes. Baekhyun gave the taller one comforting smile, but tears started to form in his eyes. He was scared. He didn’t know what is going to happen. 

 

 

 

Chanyeol was sleeping next to Baekhyun’s bed, the latter had fallen asleep while he was spending time with their kids. It was a first time in a month that he had fallen asleep without any medication, Chanyeol saw little hope in that. They didn’t talk that much earlier, they were just enjoying the moment they had as a family. Luhan and Sehun came with the nurses to take Azura and Adriel to rest after Baekhyun had fallen asleep.

 

Chanyeol was woken up when he heard Baekhyun groan in pain. There were tears in his eyes and he was screaming in pain. 

 

” _Yeol..”_ He heard a crying whisper. It broke his heart to see him like this. Chanyeol runs to the hallway, yelling for nurses to come. He came back to the room and went straight to Baekhyun. He took a hold of his hand, trying to calm him down. 

 

”It’s okay, it’s okay. You’re okay.”

 

”Sir, you have to leave the room.” Nurses came running to the room, one of them guiding Chanyeol out. They closed the door behind him which he just stared for a while. After minutes, he took a seat in front of the room, he leaned his hands on his knees and put his head between them. He felt so helpless. He could hear Luhan running next to him and Sehun following him closely behind, but they didn’t ask anything. Instead, Luhan gave Chanyeol a hug when few tears started to flow on his cheeks. Sehun placed his hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.

 

He just felt so damn useless.  

 

* * *

 

  

 _Brain tumor._  

 

Baekhyun was diagnosed with a brain tumor a week after, but it was already too late. It had already spread too far in just a short time, there wasn’t anything they could have done. It was killing him to see Baekhyun in pain every day and there was nothing he could do. The doctors told Chanyeol later on that the birth had weakened Baekhyun's body too much. He felt angry because the tumor wasn't discovered sooner, maybe they could have done something.  _Maybe he could've done something._

 

He felt so useless while watching his love struggle with the pain alone, him being incapable of helping him. He felt so angry at himself. He could only be there for him by giving him comfort, hoping that it would be enough. But it wasn’t. He just couldn’t see Baekhyun in pain anymore.  _He had to let go._

 

* * *

 

Chanyeol walked to Baekhyun’s room and he saw that the other was sleeping on the bed, his mouth a little open in a cute way. He felt bad that the doctor’s had to put him to a medical coma again, Baekhyun’s body couldn’t handle the pain anymore.

 

Chanyeol took a chair, dragged it next to the bed and took a seat. He reached for Baekhyun’s hand that was lying next to him, he started to caress the soft skin of the smaller one’s hand, lifting his gaze to look at the tattoo they got together over a year ago. He smiled fondly for the memory of them in the tattoo shop. Baekhyun was so brave even though he has always been afraid of needles. He almost crushed Chanyeol’s hand while getting the tattoo, the taller one couldn’t understand why Baekhyun even agreed to do it if he was so afraid.  _”Because I love you. This is how everyone knows that I have someone waiting for me at home.”_ That’s what he told him. He lifted his gaze to look at Baekhyun’s sleeping face.

 

He looked tired with the circles under his eyes, his skin was getting paler every day and his cheekbones were starting to get more visible. 

 

Chanyeol hated it. He hated to see him like this. He slowly had to get used to the idea that he is losing him. He may never get up from that bed again and it was killing him. 

 

He saw Baekhyun stir in his sleep. Chanyeol furrowed his eyebrows together, he wasn’t supposed to be waking up because of the sleeping medicine. What alarmed Chanyeol was those sky blue eyes staring at him in pain and that painful cry that left the smaller one’s mouth. 

 

He was about to get up and go look for a nurse, but Baekhyun’s hand stopped him. 

 

 _”Yeol…”_ He turned around to look at Baekhyun and his gaze landed on to the smaller one’s eyes. He was crying, tears were streaming down his cheeks and his eyes were full of pain. Pain that Chanyeol just wished he could take away.

 

"Sweetie, I have to go and get the doctors."

 

" _Chanyeol, please..."_

 

 _”I’m here. I’m right here.”_ He whispered while sitting back on the chair. 

 

Chanyeol stared at the smaller one’s eyes, they looked like they were asking for forgiveness from him. 

 

And they were. Baekhyun wanted to say he's sorry, but the words just didn’t come out of his mouth. He wanted to say sorry because he was losing the battle. His body couldn’t handle the pain anymore. He wanted to say sorry to his children for not being there with them when they grow up. More tears just started to stream down on his cheeks.

 

Chanyeol took hold of Baekhyun's both hands, cupping the tiny hands between his and giving them a squeeze.

 

”It’s okay, I’m okay,  _we’re okay_.”  _He understood._

 

Baekhyun swallowed his tears and looked at Chanyeol’s teary eyes. He saw that the other one was trying so hard to not to cry while saying those words. Behind those words and those teary eyes, there was a message. And he understood. He took in Chanyeol’s appearance, those cognac-brown eyes that were full of tears at the moment but still so breathtaking. His curly hair was a mess, he had faint circles under his eyes and his cheeks were a little red. Even in this tired appearance, Chanyeol looked wonderful to him.

 

Baekhyun stopped sobbing and looked straightly to those eyes that kept him captivated for all these years.

 

”When we get home,” there was a little pause, he took a deep breath before he continued, ”we have to get rid of the boxes on the floor. We can’t trip on them if we are carrying the babies.” 

 

Chanyeol couldn’t help but chuckle to his boyfriend. He kissed his hands and put his other hand on Baekhyun's cheek, caressing the cheekbone.

 

”We’ll move them right away when we get home.” 

 

Baekhyun nodded, he let his tears run down on his cheeks, wetting the large hand caressing his cheekbone. He covered the hand in his cheek with his own hand.

 

”I love you, you know that right?” Baekhyun's voice cracked a little.

”I love you too, Baek.” Chanyeol smiled at him. ”Smile for me, please.”

 

And Baekhyun did until his eyes started to close slowly. He still tried to fight it, but it was too much for him. The pain was too much and he lost. 

 

Chanyeol could feel the smaller one's hand becoming spiritless inside his other hand and the small hand that was covering the hand on his cheek slowly lost balance. His eyes were closed and his breathing started to slow down.

 

Until it stopped completely.

 

Chanyeol was still caressing his lover's cheek, he was starting to lose his own battle with the tears. He stared at Baekhyun's face for a second, admiring the beauty. He got up from the chair and gave one last kiss to Baekhyun's forehead. Silent whisper leaving from his lips. _Thank you._

 

 

_He gave up fighting his own tears, that started to stream down his cheeks._

  

* * *

 

He heard the sleeping monitor on the counter. He could hear faint sleepy noises coming from the monitor. He picked Azura up from the blanket, not forgetting the grey fox. He walked towards the bedroom to see someone kicking the blankets off him. Adriel has become really energetic in these last few months. 

 

”Look who is up.” Chanyeol said to Azura who was giggling in his hold when he saw his brother awake.

 

He sat on the bed and gently placed Azura next to Adriel who smiled a sleepy smile to his sister and dad while holding his white fox. Chanyeol smiled brightly to the small one and placed his hand on top of his pitch-black head, giving it a gentle stroke and gave him a kiss on his forehead. 

 

”Did you sleep well, sweetie?” He smiled to the baby. 

 

Adriel was still maybe a little too small, but he was developing normally. When Chanyeol had a talk with the doctor’s about Adriel’s health, they told him that he may need more time to learn to talk and everything or there may be a possibility that he doesn’t learn how to speak at all. They just had to wait and see. But it didn’t mean that Chanyeol wouldn’t love him any less. And Baekhyun wouldn’t have either.  

 

He was admiring Azura, who was lying sideways next to her brother, she was holding her little fox in the other hand and the other hand was stroking his brother's ear, maybe with a little too much force but Adriel didn’t mind. Chanyeol was admiring the beauty of the baby girl. He always wondered where she got the blond hair from, but it all came together when he remembered that Baekhyun used to dye his hair black. But Baekhyun never told him his real hair color, Chanyeol never understood that. In his mind, he could imagine the blond hair on Baekhyun and god he would have been so attractive. 

 

Her blue eyes she obviously got from her mother, just like her brother did, who was an exact copy of his mother. Adriel had a little curly black hair, it was thin, but it still curled a little. Azura and Adriel both had chubby cheeks, a slim nose, and small rosy lips. The doctors told Chanyeol that the twins weren’t identical, but looking at them now, they looked so much alike. They both got most of their features from their mother. Chanyeol loved just looking at them because he had two small copies of his Baekhyun.

 

Something brings him back to the night they met. When he saw the smaller one across the room, standing there, looking almost as shocked as Chanyeol was. For seeing someone, who immediately got his attention in a huge room, full of people, full of different scenes around him, but the minute he had stepped out from the bathroom and looked to the direction where he had seen Sehun last. He could only thank Sehun for dragging him out that night because, if he didn’t, he would have never witnessed those sky blue eyes, staring at him. He would have never gotten to know that beautiful personality that lied behind that lovely appearance, which attracted him so much from the beginning until the end. He would have never known that lovely name, that sounded beautiful in every way you said it. He would have never experienced the real home, that was when he held Baekhyun in his arms and when he smelled the faint vanilla in his hair. He would have never known the feeling of becoming a father to two of the most beautiful children in the world. He would have never known, what it’s going to feel like losing the one you love. He would have never known, what he could call  _the love of his life._

 

They didn’t get to the point that they would have had the chance to say ” _I do.”_ at the altar. But in their hearts, they have already done that a long time ago. Chanyeol was always imagining,  _what if._ What if he would have the chance to see Baekhyun at the end of the aisle, looking at him with those beautiful sky blue eyes, slowly walking to him to say the vows that would bound them for life. Their two beautiful children watching them on the side, laughing and clapping. Their friends and family gathered around them. But Chanyeol knows that they didn’t need those vows, from the beginning they were already bound to stay together.  _But forever, wasn’t included._

  

”I miss him. I miss your mother so much.” The two of them giggled to him, the sound of their giggles together was like sweet music to his ears. ”I can never hate him for going away because he gave me you two.” He smiled brightly to his little ones. ”My two angels, my little pieces of him.”

 

”But you know what?” He whispered with a little smile on his face, looking at the two most treasured things he has in his life right now. ”I’m going to see him in my dreams at least and I know, that he is going to be here, for every step.” 

  

_”We just can’t see him.”_

 

 

 

 

 

_In life, anyone can teach you how to love, but no one can teach you how to feel after you lose that love._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies ^^
> 
> Thank you so much for reading until the end, I hope you enjoyed reading it!  
> Please leave comments and pleaaaase, let me know what you think because this is my first fic ever, I'm very nervous about it, so your comments would mean the world to me :3
> 
>  
> 
> I hope I get to read your thoughts ~ 
> 
> See you ~ :3
> 
>  
> 
> ps. The meaning of their tattoos is in Chanyeol's tattoo "I belong to my beloved.." and Baekhyun's "..and my beloved belongs to me." c:


	2. SOMETHING EXTRA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just something I wrote because I don't want to let go of the story just yet XD  
> I created this while I was thinking if I should write hunhan's side but we'll seeee
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you enjoy :3 ~

 

Luhan woke up covered in cold sweat. _It was that dream again._

 

He tried to calm his heavy breathing while looking at his left, where Sehun was still sleeping. He observed the sleeping male, feeling comfort and calmness just by looking at him. That’s how strong his presence was to him. Soon, his breathing steadied and he calmed down. He glanced behind Sehun to look at the clock standing on the nightstand, it was already nine in the morning. He gave to the still sleeping male a gentle kiss on the forehead and slowly got up from the bed, trying not to wake him up. Heading to the shower to wash the sweat from his body.

 

Luhan was just standing under the shower, flashbacks from his dream going through his head. He hasn’t seen that dream for a while. It made him feel uneasy even though it has been years, but it still had an effect on him. He took a deep breath to calm down and shut out those images from his mind. He quickly washed and got out of the shower. 

 

He quietly got out of the shower because he didn’t want to wake Sehun up just yet. The sleeping male had been working late the whole week, so Luhan wanted him to sleep as much as he could. 

 

He tiptoed to the closet to take a clean white t-shirt, a pair of boxers and black shorts. Luhan quickly got dressed and went to the kitchen to make some breakfast for both of them. Firstly filling up the coffee machine and turning it on. After that, he went to the fridge to get some eggs. 

 

He prepared the breakfast for them and set it on the table. When he was done with that, he went to pour himself his first cup of coffee, that heavenly dose of caffeine he needed. He walked to the counter and looked out from the window where he could see their front yard. Their red mailbox at the end of the rocky walking path that has probably already been filled by the postman this morning. On the opposite side of the street, he could see their neighbor walking out from the door with her dog. The grass in the yard was still green even though it was already Autumn and because of that, it was raining most of the time. But Luhan didn’t mind at all, mostly because, _Baekhyun loved the rain._

  

 

_”Because without the rain nothing grows and by that, I also mean people. There’s no sunshine without a little rain.”_

 

_”That sounds so cliche, Baekhyun.” Luhan laughed at his friend when they were standing in the shelter. Their classes just ended and it was pouring outside. Neither of them didn’t realize to bring an umbrella with them._

 

_Baekhyun also laughed while looking up at the sky. The laughter echoed in the shelter until they both just stared the sky. There was a moment of silence between them before Baekhyun spoke. ”Remember to embrace the storms in your life, Luhan. They will eventually clear and you see things differently. They’ll do more good than harm, you’ll see.”_

 

_Baekhyun was still staring at the sky with a smile on his face when Luhan turned to look at him. He knows what Baekhyun is referring to. Even though Luhan doesn’t talk about his situation at home that often, but Baekhyun still knew what was going on. He can see when something is bothering Luhan, but he knows that the latter doesn’t necessarily want to talk about it. Luhan still told him everything when it all started and Baekhyun can see that it’s getting worse, but he’s not going to force him to talk about it. But Luhan doesn’t want to keep his friend in the dark._

 

_”He was drinking again this weekend.” Luhan turned his gaze to the ground when Baekhyun turned to look at him. ”This time they didn’t argue, I was his target from the beginning. Again, he got angry at me without a reason, accusing me of every possible thing that came to his mind. And when I ignored him, he…” Tears started to form in Luhan’s eyes but he holds them back. Luhan picked his gaze up from the ground to look at Baekhyun who already had his gaze on him. The tears were in his eyes but they didn’t fall._

 

_”I’m scared, Baekhyun.” It was a small whisper that left Luhan’s mouth._

 

_”He can’t do anything to you.” Baekhyun took a step closer to Luhan, slowly embracing him. Luhan didn’t want to let the tears fall so he swallowed them and hugged his friend back._

 

_Baekhyun was giving small strokes to his back that calmed him down slowly. Then Baekhyun leaned away, cupped his friend's face and looked straight to his teary eyes._

 

_”Embrace the storms, I know there is something surprisingly amazing waiting for you.”_

 

 

Luhan got startled from his thoughts when he felt a head on his shoulder, turning his head, he saw black hair pointing in every possible direction. Sehun dyed his hair brown a few years back, saying that he needed a change from his blond hair and a few months back he dyed it black. For Luhan, it didn’t matter what color his hair was. For him, he was always charming.

 

”Good morning.” He planted a small kiss on the side of the Sehun’s head. For response he got a mumble which Luhan assumed to be a good morning, making Luhan giggle to the taller one.

 

”Do you want coffee? The breakfast is at the table.” Luhan told him while setting his coffee on the counter in front of him. He didn’t wait for an answer, he went to the coffee machine right away and poured the other one a cup. When he turned around, he saw Sehun sitting in the table observing him.

 

”What?” Luhan smiled to him and walked next to Sehun to give him his coffee, but when he was trying to turn away to get his own coffee from the counter, he felt a hand go around his leg to keep him from moving away. He turned back to look at Sehun who still had his gaze on him.

 

”Can you tell me already why you’re looking at me like that?” He smiled at him.

 

Sehun leaned his head on Luhan’s stomach and placed his both hands around his left leg.

 

”You dreamed again last night.” Sehun finally said after a few seconds of hugging Luhan’s leg. 

 

”How did you-” 

 

”I woke up in the middle of the night and you were breathing very heavily. You were also talking in your sleep.” 

 

”I’m sorry, I didn’t know that I disturbed your sleep.” Luhan apologized while putting his hand son Sehun’s head and planting a small kiss to his head.

 

”I don’t mind you disturbing me.” He told him with a comforting smile on his face, to which Luhan answered with a smile too. "You know that I'm here if you want to talk."

 

"I know." Luhan kept caressing Sehun's hair, while the other one was still hugging his leg and leaning his chin to his stomach. "Thank you."

 

Then Luhan turned around to get his coffee before it got cold.

 

”So, we are going to Chanyeol’s place today?” Sehun asked while taking a sip from his coffee.

 

”Yes, I can’t wait to see those little muffins. They are so adorable.”

 

He sat down to the table and both of them started to eat breakfast while talking about what came to their minds. They ate their breakfast, did their morning tasks and got ready to leave to see the little family.

 

 

Luhan and Sehun arrived at Chanyeol’s place in the afternoon. It wasn't that long walk from their place to Chanyeol's, when the couple was done with the traveling they decided to move close to Chanyeol and Baekhyun, so they could help with the twins when needed.

 

They got to the door and knocked a few times, Chanyeol opened the door for them and greeted them with a smile.”Hey, guys.”

 

 _Chanyeol looked good_ , Luhan thought to himself and greeted Chanyeol with a heartwarming smile. 

 

He was wearing just a plain black hoodie paired with sweat pants from Adidas. It felt good to see the taller one smiling. It also brought some kind of relieve to Luhan because he knows how much Chanyeol is also hurting in this situation. Even if he doesn’t talk about it very often. He can’t deny that it eased the pain in his heart to know that he wasn’t alone with the pain. And of course, he has Sehun. 

 

”Hey, Chanyeol.” Sehun greeted him with a friendly slap on his shoulder.

 

”Come to the kitchen. I made coffee for us.” 

 

Chanyeol said while he turned around to go to the kitchen. Sehun put a hand on Luhan’s lower back guiding him to go inside first. 

 

”The twins are sleeping?” Luhan questioned when he reached the kitchen and saw Chanyeol grabbing three mugs from the shelf. 

 

”Yeah, but they have been sleeping for a while now.” Chanyeol answered while putting the cups on the counter and taking the coffeepot. ”They should be waking up soon.”

 

He poured coffee for them and took the milk from the fridge for Luhan to use. They settled on the living room because it was more comfortable there. 

 

Luhan’s gaze immediately went on top of the fireplace where most of the pictures were. He couldn’t help but smile to the photos. The memories were all there. Their first time meeting Chanyeol, when they met at Chanyeol’s and Baekhyun’s favorite coffee place and also his and Baekhyun’s graduation photo. The same photo he had on his nightstand.

 

 _That smile_. Oh god, how much he missed that smile.

 

While Chanyeol and Sehun were chatting, Chanyeol had noticed Luhan staring at the pictures on top of the fireplace, but he didn’t say anything. He knew Luhan was remembering the days of those photos. He does the same thing, maybe more often than he realizes.

 

Then their attention went to the sleeping monitor in Chanyeol’s hand.

 

Chanyeol smiled to the sleepy noises coming from the monitor. 

 

”I think Adriel is awake. He has become so energetic these days that it's hard to keep up with him.” He was about to get up and go get Adriel when Luhan interrupted him.

 

”No! You sit down. I'll go get him.” Luhan got up and started making his way to the nursery room. ”I’ve been waiting for a whole week to see those little monkeys.”

 

Chanyeol chuckled and smiled to Luhan while nodding his head. 

 

”It really has been the only thing he’s been talking about since we arrived back from China.” Sehun said with a smile when Luhan disappeared to the hallway.

 

"How's Luhan's family doing?" Chanyeol asked, while still smiling to Luhan's enthusiasm.

 

"Same as always. Still asking when they'll get to see their grandchildren." Both of their laughter echoing in the living room and Luhan could also hear it to the nursery room.

 

”Are you doing okay with them?” Sehun glances Chanyeol who is sitting across him.

 

”Most of the time. I mean, there is two of them. It’s a challenge really, I’m not going to lie but I wouldn’t change anything.” He answered while looking at his coffee and smiled. ”Yesterday, we were in their room and I placed them on the floor with each other. Azura lifted herself up and she was sitting next to Adriel who he was trying to crawl forward to get his fox while Azura was clapping and cheering on him.” Chanyeol smiled from his heart to the image. It made Sehun also smile.

 

”I just wish _he_ was here to experience these things.” His lifted his gaze to look at Sehun. The longing in his eyes was so clear that you could see it even without trying. 

 

”I know.” Sehun almost whispered. _”We all do.”_

 

There was a moment of silence between them. They both noticed that the noises from the sleeping monitor were gone which probably means Luhan got to the room.

 

”You know,” it was Chanyeol who broke the silence. Sehun lifted his eyes to look at Chanyeol while the latter looked outside from the window. ”they say that time heals all wounds, but…” He sighed and stared back at his coffee. ”I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now. Sometimes I can’t sleep. Sometimes I hear his voice and even sense his presence even though I know he’s not here.” He lifted his eyes to gaze at Sehun.

 

”Everything just keeps reminding me of him.”

 

 _”You take all the time you need then.”_  

 

Their attention went to the direction of the hallway where Luhan was standing while holding Adriel in his arms. The small one was still dozing a little while leaning his head on the crook of Luhan’s neck and he was holding his white fox close to his chest, his pitch black hair was messy from the sleeping. Luhan had accidentally heard their conversation through the sleeping monitor. 

 

Luhan looked straight to Chanyeol’s eyes before he continued. 

 

”There’s no shortcut to being okay and don't even think that anyone excepts you to be okay this soon. You don’t know how much time it will take for you to remember Baekhyun with a smile and not to be sad that he’s gone. And you know that he’s never going to be fully gone.” Small tears began to form to Luhan’s eyes because he’s also having a hard time to deal with the fact that his best friend wasn't here with them. But he had to stay strong. He bounced Adriel on his arm’s. ”You have two of these beautiful things to remind that he is going to be here.”

 

Both Sehun and Chanyeol were staring at Luhan, but they both had different expressions. For Chanyeol, it felt like those were the words he needed to hear, but not quite. But they still made him feel a little better. He has never talked with Luhan about Baekhyun after his death. And with Sehun, he usually just told him small parts of how lost he actually felt. He didn’t want to bother Luhan or Sehun with his problems because he knew that they were going through almost the same but with their own way. You could think that it would have been better to talk to people that are experiencing the same but everybody grieves in their own way. 

 

But how he wished it would be just that easy. But still, he doesn’t want it to be that easy. He needs the pain to remember that he was real. He’s always going to remember Baekhyun, with both, sadness and happiness. And that made him glad.

 

He set his coffee cup on the table and got up from the couch. He walked to Luhan and gently took Adriel from Luhan’s hold. Adriel, immediately recognizing the familiar scent of his father, placed his small hands around his father’s neck and continued dozing off on the crook of the tall one’s neck. 

 

When Adriel was safely in his arms, Chanyeol placed his hand on the back of Luhan's head and gave him a soft kiss on top of his crown, whispering a small _thank you_ only for Luhan to hear. Then he backed away a little to look at Luhan. 

 

”Was Azura also awake?” The tall one asked from Luhan while he started to give small strokes on Adriel’s back.

 

”I’ll go check again.” Luhan told him with a small smile on his face. Then he turned around to back to the nursery room and at the doorway, he could already hear soft mumbles coming from the bed.

 

Chanyeol turned around to look at Sehun who was gazing at Luhan’s retreating back. His eyes were soft and in his smile, you could see the admiration towards the small male. 

 

Sehun hasn’t asked him anything about Baekhyun after that day because Luhan has always been that type who doesn’t talk about his feelings unless he wants to. He never wanted to push him to talk because he knows that Luhan will talk to him when he’s ready. But still, when he sees Luhan gazing out from the window or staring at one of the photos he has of him and Baekhyun, Sehun just hugs him but doesn’t say anything. 

 

”He’s strong.”

 

Sehun lifted his gaze to look at Chanyeol who was walking back to the couch while holding the small Adriel in his arms, who had lifted his head off from his father’s neck and was observing Sehun with sleepy eyes.

 

 _”I know.”_ He whispered and smiled at Adriel. ”The little man has grown a lot.” 

 

”He has. The doctors said that he’s growing normally, which is good, but he still may have some problems with speaking in the future. But it’s looking good for now.” 

 

Adriel was playing with a string of Chanyeol’s hoodie while watching Sehun with furrowed eyebrows. ”Why he’s looking at me like that?”

 

”Like what?” Chanyeol asks while looking between Adriel and Sehun.

 

”Like he’s judging me.” Sehun states while slowly backing away a little to lean on the back of the couch.

 

Chanyeol started chuckling at the scene. Adriel’s gaze didn’t change at all. 

 

”Maybe he knows that you stole a cookie from the jar earlier.” Luhan walked to the living room while holding sleeping Azura in his arms. ”She woke up and crawled into my lap, but she fell back to sleep almost immediately.” He explained while sitting down next to Sehun. 

 

”I can hold her so you can drink your coffee before it gets cold.” Sehun insisted as soon as Luhan got on the couch. He took Azura from Luhan’s hold and placed her to sleep on his torso while leaning on the back of the couch. Azura mumbled softly, but you could see that she was feeling comfortable. Adriel, on the other hand, was still staring at Sehun. 

 

Luhan took the coffee cup from the table and leaned on the back of the couch next to Sehun while smiling to the scene of Azura sleeping on Sehun’s torso. 

 

 _Sehun is going to be an amazing father someday._ Luhan smiled more to the thought. Maybe someday they will be able to start their own family, but for now, they both wanted to be there for Chanyeol. He needed them, even though he doesn’t want to admit it sometimes. 

 

Sehun turned his gaze to Luhan when he felt his gaze on him. Their eyes met and an even bigger smile started to form on Luhan’s face, but he tried to hide it. Sehun smiled back at him and placed his other hand on Luhan’s thigh, giving it a light squeeze.

 

Neither of them noticed that Chanyeol was watching the scene in front of him. He couldn't deny the little sting in his heart, but he couldn’t be happier for them. They deserved each other. The beginning of their relationship was rocky, but they made it. Chanyeol has known Sehun longer than he has known Luhan, but Baekhyun used to talk about Luhan very often so he knows a thing or two. Of course, Luhan doesn’t know this and maybe it’s better like this. He knows how hard life has been to Luhan. He knows the reason why it was so hard for Luhan in the beginning to let Sehun in his life. Or anyone.

 

He can’t blame him though. He would have been the same if that happened to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pleeease leave a comment and let me know what you think
> 
> I really enjoy writing and I need more motivation :c


	3. ANOTHER ONE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I've been debating with myself for a few days should I publish this or not, but I decided to do it. This is an extra scene of the same fic.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this and please leave comments to let me know what you think. ♡

Falling to his bed, his gaze directed to the ceiling when he let out a long sigh. First time in a whole day, he was able to finally rest. It was already evening and he had managed to make the twins sleep earlier than usual. Their whole day has been full of activities. The first thing of the day, was the twins monthly check-up in the hospital, getting the measurements and the next vaccine they needed to take. Both of them crying their eyes out from the sight of the needle. Chanyeol couldn’t help but smile a little to the scene because they were afraid of the needles like Baekhyun was. He didn’t know if he should be sad or happy about the little things that reminded of him his deceased lover. Maybe in some way he was thankful for the reminders, he doesn’t want to forget him. The little pain he felt always reminded him that the other was real, that’s all he needed. 

 

But how could he forget him when he had the twins with him.

 

After the visit to the hospital, they needed to go to the grocery store for their weekly groceries. When they say, it’s a nightmare to go shopping with the twins. It ain’t a lie. The shopping carts in the city aren’t that developed that they would have baby seats for two. So, Chanyeol had to hold the other baby in his arm during the whole time. Usually, he would hold Adriel in his arms because of his small size, but today, both of the twins wanted to be held by their father during the trip. The first fifth teen minutes were spent on deciding who would sit on the cart and who in his arms. He didn’t bring any slings with him so he couldn’t possibly hold them both. But the twins weren’t going to give up.

 

With some difficulties, Chanyeol managed to hold both of them with one arm, firstly firmly telling the twins to not to move too much. He earned some terrified but also admiring gazes from the women in the grocery store, but he chose to ignore them. Until when he got to the baby section to buy fruit purée for the twins because they loved to eat it for dessert. When he was choosing flavors that the twins wanted, he could see with a side eye a woman, who he has already seen around the shop everywhere he went, staring at him with disgruntled impression on his face every time she saw Chanyeol. He turned his gaze to meet with the woman who was standing a few meters away from him, she didn’t turn her gaze away from him which started to irritate Chanyeol. The look on her face, Chanyeol didn’t know what he did to deserve it.

 

”Can I help you with something?” Finally, he had enough and opened his mouth to ask the woman what was her problem.

 

But the lady still held her gaze on him, her eyebrows furrowing more.

 

”The way you hold the babies looks dangerous.” Chanyeol knew it had something to do with the way twins are in his hold. People should just mind their own businesses.

 

”Thank you for your concern, but I trust them to stay still as much as they trust me to not to drop them.” Chanyeol firmly stated and turned to continue to choose the flavor for the twins whose eyes were now on the lady that spoke just a second ago. When Chanyeol was reaching for the mango flavor, he heard the lady speak under her breath

 

”What would their mother say…” 

 

Chanyeol froze instantly. The sting in his heart brought tears to his eyes that he so desperately tried to fight every day. How badly he wanted Baekhyun to run from between the aisle, to yell at him how dangerous it was. How badly he wanted to just hear his voice. With tears in his eyes, he didn’t let fall, he turned to look at the lady who was still staring at him. Her face immediately going from disgruntled to surprised when he saw the small tears in the tall man’s eyes. 

 

”That’s what I would like to know.”

 

Chanyeol then turned around, grabbed a few jars of fruit purée, not caring the flavor and walked away. Leaving the woman staring at his back with mixed feelings.

 

He continued to walk until he was out of the lady’s sight. He was still fighting with the tears in his eyes, but he lost when the first tear started to fall along his cheek. He took deep breaths to calm himself down but it seemed impossible at this point. He didn’t care that he was in a grocery shop, he didn’t care about the people around him giving him weird looks. They didn’t know anything. They didn’t know what he has lost.

 

He shot his eye’s open when he felt a small hand touching the corner of his eye. It was Azura. She was mesmerized by the tear that was reflecting the lights from the ceiling, making it look shiny. Chanyeol observed her when she managed to catch one of Chanyeol’s tears with his finger. She stared at it for a moment before directing her finger towards her mouth. But when he tasted the saltiness of the tear, her face scrunched and she was staring at Chanyeol in disbelief. That was enough to make Chanyeol smile again.

 

Yes, he had lost something precious to him, but he got something special afterward. 

 

Adriel between them, stared at his sister’s face and mimicked her actions and tried to catch one of Chanyeol’s tears. When he realized there weren’t any, he landed his small hand on his father’s damp cheek and licked the palm of his hand. And when the realization hit him, he turned his gaze to his sister and stared at her with his mouth open.

 

Yes. They were all Chanyeol needed.

 

They finished their shopping and reached their house. It was already evening, but they didn’t have dinner yet and from the grumpiness of the twins, it was about a time they do. When they finished their dinner, it was already nine in the evening and the twins almost fell asleep to their high chairs. Chanyeol picked them up and took them to the washroom to wash up before bed. With some difficulties, he managed to get the twins cleaned and changed to their pajamas, even though Azura was already sleeping on his hold.

 

He placed them on their large crib, side by side and covered them with a thin blanket so they wouldn’t get too hot during the night. Adriel was still awake and kept his blue eyes on Chanyeol. The father knew what the child wanted. He reached for the chair he kept beside their bed because he usually had to sit there for a while before the twins would be asleep. When he was seated, he placed his hand between the bars of the crib, to let Adriel take hold of one of his fingers with his small hand. Chanyeol couldn’t help the smile forming to his lips. He then started to hum a familiar tune the small boy knew and loved. 

 

It didn’t take long for the small boy to fall asleep and the hold of Chanyeol’s finger slowly loosened. The tall male gave both of them a goodnight kiss to their foreheads. He switched the sleeping monitor on and placed on the table next to their crib. With a last glance to the sleeping babies, he left the room and headed to the kitchen to clean their mess before heading to their bedroom. 

 

Now, laying on the bed, he let out the last long sigh. It was a tiring day for him. He didn’t want to think about so he just let the sleep take over without changing his clothes and holding tightly onto the sleeping monitor. 

 

 

With a groan, he lifted himself up from the bed when the sleeping monitor in his hand went off, meaning one of the twins were awake. He glanced the electronic clock on his nightstand, reading two-thirty in the morning. He sat in the edge of the bed, listening to the crying coming from the device. It was the first night for a while that one of them woke up in the middle of the night. With another groan, he stood up and started to walk towards the nursing room, not realizing that the crying stopped. 

 

He reached the door while scratching the back of his head. His gaze still on the floor when he saw a dim light coming from the nursery room. Furrowing his eyebrows in confusion because he was sure he didn’t leave any lights on. When he reached the doorway and directed his gaze towards the crib, he swears he stopped breathing.

 

This wasn’t real, this couldn’t be real. He was hallucinating for sure. He rubbed his eyes with force, trying to erase the false image, but no matter how many times he did it, he was still there. _Baekhyun was there._ His Baekhyun was there, holding a sleeping Adriel in his arms. His fluffy black hair bouncing as he gently bounced the sleeping baby in his arms, looking at the baby with fondness in his blue eyes and a genuine smile on his lips. His petite fingers touching Adriel’s face and playing with his hair.

 

Chanyeol couldn’t move as he couldn’t stop the tears forming to his eyes. The image he is seeing now, he feels like he’s dreaming. From the beginning, this is something he wanted to see. Baekhyun comforting their crying baby. This is how he imagined it. 

 

He didn’t realize that his hold on the sleeping monitor loosened and it dropped to the floor with a loud thud, making Baekhyun snap his head to his direction.

 

”Are you an idiot?! You’re going to wake them up.” The small male said with a hushed voice.

 

Yes, it definitely was his Baekhyun. 

 

”Baekhyun…” 

 

Chanyeol started to take small steps towards the petite male who was still holding Adriel in his arms. Azura was sound asleep in the crib. When he reached the two of them, taking a place next to them and when he lifted his gaze from Adriel to meet the sky blue eyes that were already staring at him with all the affection in the world. The sting in his heart was back and the first tear rolled along his cheek.

 

”I’m dreaming, right?” 

 

”Do you want to be dreaming?” Baekhyun asked him as he continued to softly bounce Adriel in his arms, making sure that the small boy was asleep.

 

”No. But if this is a dream, I don’t want to wake up.” 

 

Baekhyun chuckled and started to place Adriel back to the crib next to his sister. With a gentle touch to both of their faces, he straightened his back and turned back to Chanyeol. He lifted his arms to his sides, inviting Chanyeol to his embrace.

 

At that moment, Chanyeol let everything go and latched his arms around the smaller male, crying on his shoulder. And Baekhyun let him, he stroked Chanyeol’s back gently who was shaking at this point. The strong arms around him only tightened every second, making sure that Baekhyun wouldn’t go anywhere. 

 

After a while when Chanyeol had calmed down a little but was still heading tears, Baekhyun spoke.

 

”You know, you really shouldn’t go to sleep without a shower.” The smaller one chuckled as Chanyeol lifted his head from his neck to look at him.

 

”I was too tired.” He wiped his cheeks before placing his both hands back to Baekhyun’s waist. ”I’ve been really tired these days.”

 

”I’ve noticed.” The smaller one said when he lifted his hand up to cup Chanyeol’s cheek and catching the last falling tear with his thumb. 

 

”How?” This earned yet another chuckle from the black-haired male. 

 

”I’ve been around.” Baekhyun told him smiling. Chanyeol placed his own hand on top of Baekhyun’s and kissing his palm. ”I haven’t seen you.” Chanyeol softly whispered.

 

”But you still know I’m here.” 

 

Baekhyun then took his hand from Chanyeol’s cheek and turned slightly towards the crib where their children were sleeping. He circled his arms around Chanyeol’s waist and pulled him closer, Chanyeol’s game still on Baekhyun. As Baekhyun did that, Chanyeol lifted his other arm to place it on Baekhyun’s shoulders, hugging him sideways. 

 

”They have grown a lot. Adriel too.” Baekhyun whispered and Chanyeol directed his gaze to the sleeping babies. 

 

”They miss you. I miss you.” With that Baekhyun leaned his head to Chanyeol’s chest, but soon lifted it to look at the taller male who also lowered his gaze. Baekhyun tiptoed to meet Chanyeol’s lips halfway. The kiss wasn’t desperate, it was simply full of longing and regret. Regret for not being able to have the life they deserved. When they pulled away, they still stayed close to each other, feeling each other breaths in their lips.

 

”Don’t go.”

 

”I can’t stay longer, Chanyeol.” 

 

As tears made their way back to the taller one's eyes, Baekhyun cupped his face to comfort him with gentle strokes.

 

"I'm trying so hard. I've tried so hard to forget you. Forget the fact that you aren't here, and now here I am, having a dream about you being here. Something in my head tells me to forget everything. Every piece of you, the way you smile, the feel of your skin. I can still feel you, you know?" Chanyeol leaned more to the hand on his cheek. "And I think I always will."

 

"That's enough for me."

 

”I can’t do this without you. I need you to stay. Please.” Baekhyun never wanted to see Chanyeol like this, crying and unsure about himself. He wanted to see the bright smile decorating his handsome face. That was his favorite.

 

”You don’t even know how amazing job you are doing with the kids now. Do you remember when I doubted I was going to be a bad mother? When you found me in our bedroom?” Small tears started to form in Baekhyun’s eyes he waited for Chanyeol to nod. ”That was never going to happen because I would’ve had you. The way you are with them, it’s taking my every doubt away.” Baekhyun pecked Chanyeol’s trembling lips.

 

”I love you, you know that right?” 

 

”I love you too, Baek.” 

 

With one last kiss on Chanyeol’s lips, Baekhyun packed away. Chanyeol’s arms staying where they are, where Baekhyun was. ”But from now on, please carry some slings with you.” Baekhyun said with a small smile and earned a teary chuckle from Chanyeol before he nodded.

 

 _”I miss you too, Yeol.”_  

 

With a loud gasp, he woke up from his bed, quickly rising to sitting position. There were tears on his cheeks. He glanced to the clock on his nightstand which read two-thirty-one. Chanyeol quickly got up and ran to the nursery room. The light was on with both of the sleeping monitors on the table next to the crib where the twins were sleeping. With long strides, he reached the crib and checked on the babies who were asleep. He gazed all over the room to look for any signs of Baekhyun but he couldn’t find anything, but when he directed his gaze back to the crib, he realized something. 

 

He was sure that he put the twins to bed without their foxes, but there they were. Both of them hugging their own. 

 

It was the second time Chanyeol cried that night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m not crying. you are


End file.
